Tonight I took an Ambien for the first time in quite some time. And I laid down, watching History International (which seems rather stuck in the US) to try to get some sleep. It's going fine for a while, then everything on the TV seems like it's in 3D. At that point it went from going just fine to going EPIC. Documentary about Jesse James and his treasure IN 3D.
And then I start noticing more and more bright colors to the side of my TV. Bright colors. I couldn't quite tell if they were little things made out of pool float plastic or awesome drapes that came out of nowhere. Cause I didn't have anything there.
I get up to check it out, but it's a slow process. It takes me about four tries to get up without falling over. Oh yes. The Ambien has kicked in. I walk the two steps from where I was flopping out of bed to the TV to examine it and I see nothing that isn't normally there. Poster of Rikku over the DVD player and beside one of many book cases. Nothing was out of place. But it was dark in here so I couldn't be positive.
I turn and stumble the three or four steps over to my lamp and get distracted. There's a scarf hanging off my lamp. It's purple and black with strings of silver thread in it. My mom got it for me when she was in Italy last year because purple and black are my favorite colors. Especially together. And this is where the distraction gets bad. Instead of switching on the light so I can see the things I want to look at I just start trying to get the scarf off of the lamp. But I forgot how I put it on there in the first place.
In my confusion I took a misstep. And the misstep was followed by a slow fall towards my window. That sounds particularly horrible, doesn't it? I go down. It was a slow fall. Or, to me it seemed like a slow fall. It wasn't graceful in the slightest. There was flailing as I tried to regain balance. It was noisy as I hit things, trying to stay upright. And then I hit the ground.
Only I didn't really hit the ground. I hit a giant stack of Anime DVDs I had by the window. My lamp, on the other hand, went through the window.
I should have mentioned before now that the lamp in question is, in fact, a floor lamp. Quite tall. Difficult to break. But, it seemed the light had gone through the window. I sat there, stunned for a moment that I didn't get cut up by the window, as I had hit it, too, and that no one had woken up and come to see what happened. I'm positive I was quite loud.
Hesitantly, pulled the lamp out of the window and set it aside. I would worry about it later. My binds, on the other hand, they got my focus for the moment. They looked horrible. Some of the end pieces completely broke off. Others are still connected, but they're just barely hanging on. All in all, my blinds are ruined. Once I had that settled, I moved on to my window. I pulled up the blinds and found a bit of luck. I've been sleeping with my window wide open for the last couple weeks. And tonight that wasn't changing.
But I still had the problem of it being dark in here. The only light I had for all of this was the flickering light of my TV. So after wobbling up to my feet I turned my attention to my lamp. As I reached out to flip it on I noticed something. The shade was missing. The shade on a floor lamp is kinda hard to get off just by bumping it. It takes actual work to get it off. But, there it was.
Keep in mind that during all of this I'm not only in the dark, but I'm also on Ambien. Yeah.
After some investigating, I found my shade on the other side of the room. That was odd. I went to put it back together but the inside part of my lamp was turned weird. It took me a minute to figure out how it went but I ended up getting it right and getting the lamp shade hooked back on.
The next problem was that the bulb was missing. Not a good thing. So I head downstairs to get one. Along the way I decide I should get a baggie to put it in because there's a chance I'll drop the light bulb with how loopy I was. I ended up talking to the painting at the bottom of the stairs after all. So I stop in the kitchen and get a baggie from the pantry. While I'm in there I decide I should also put a couple of Ambien in the baggie so that I don't have to go downstairs every time I want one. Then I go out to the garage and get a 60 watt bulb, same strength I always get. And I decide it would be good to get a Coke, too. So I head back up to my room with the bulb and some pills in the baggie, and the Coke in my other hand. I wobbled throughout the entire mission. And I talked to the stairs in the garage. It seemed like they were moving and I told them they had to cut it out. I was trying to go back inside. Then I would leave them alone for the remainder of the night.
I got back up to my room, but I don't remember the trip back at all. I have a feeling that would be for the best. New bulb in hand, I went to the lamp once more. It wouldn't screw in. I couldn't understand this. I put my finger in the ring part where the bulb SHOULD screw in, not all the way down to where I'd get zapped or anything, and there were no grooves there or anything. Nothing. It looked like there was another mission ahead of me. I had a feeling The Missing Bulb would hold the answers.
I searched around and found the bulb beside my bed. This lamp just went everywhere when it fell apart, I swear. I got the bulb. I sat for a minute and took a sip of my Coke. And because I can be a complete moron sometimes, I took another Ambien. So now I'm on two of them.
The part you screw the light bulb into had come out with the bulb. I fiddled with it for a few minutes. Then I took that bit off of the other bulb and put it on the new one. I fiddled with it for a minute, too. I got the light to come on. I stood the lamp back up. The lamp went out.
Now I'm just confused. I gave up on it.
By the way, this whole ordeal started at about 2:00am. It's now 3:38am. Over an hour and a half.
And that's why you don't try to do handy, or decorative, things when you're on Ambien.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Since When Is Weevil A Shy Dude?
I've noticed that with me, if there's only one thing that an actor or actress has done of note (meaning, one "big" thing as opposed to several "big" things) I tend to call the actor or actress by that name until they go and find themselves a second "big" thing to do as well. Even if I actually know their real names I still find myself doing this.
For example, Christopher Judge is Teal'c, Mary Louise Parker is Nancy Botwin, Tom Welling is Clark, etc. But every so often an actor gets to the point where I actually start calling him or her by their given name when I talk about them. Like earlier this year Michael Shanks stopped being Daniel Jackson because he was also Hawkman on Smallville. When I was a kid Patrick Stewart was just Captain Picard, now he's just Patrick Stewart. (Well. Not just Patrick Stewart. He's pretty freaking epic.) Zachary Quinto isn't simply Sylar any more. The list goes on.
But then there are the actors that are still just their character names. That's fine with me, if it wasn't I wouldn't call actors by those names. Plus that means I don't have to learn as many names as I would otherwise. That's a lot of memory power there.
The only time it's annoying is when I see them in something else that isn't a major thing. At least not in my head.
What brought all this on is the fact that lately I've been going through Criminal Minds on DVD. It was one thing when Meg from Supernatural showed up as a serial killer. That wasn't odd. I mean, it was Meg. But earlier today I was watching an episode and there was Weevil from Veronica Mars. He was playing one of the killers of the episode. Again, not that weird if you know Veronica Mars. Weevil wasn't the best guy ever or anything, but he was a good guy. Just with the "tough guy" front and all that. What threw me off was the fact that here was Weevil playing a killer that was actually seriously shy. My brain had a hard time coping with a shy Weevil.
My brain copes just fine when it's still a similar type of character to what I'm used to thanks to typecasting and everything, like when Dr. Joel Fleischman (Northern Exposure) showed up in The Bucket List as Jack Nicholson's doctor. I was actually pretty happy when Fleischman showed up as the doctor in that, actually. I found it really funny.
Clearly, this post has no real point to it. It's just me rambling on my notebook about stuff that isn't important. But, there it is.
Some people can look at every actor ever and know exactly who they are. Others of us tend to go "Hey, it's that guy!" and then get thrown off when it's someone playing against type. As long as the "type" you're used to thinking of is actually from only one thing.
By the way? While Michael Shanks might not just be Daniel Jackson to me any more, he's still a historian person. Thank you, Smallville, for at least keeping that assumption in tact for me.
Now I am going to go play The Sims 3 or something.
For example, Christopher Judge is Teal'c, Mary Louise Parker is Nancy Botwin, Tom Welling is Clark, etc. But every so often an actor gets to the point where I actually start calling him or her by their given name when I talk about them. Like earlier this year Michael Shanks stopped being Daniel Jackson because he was also Hawkman on Smallville. When I was a kid Patrick Stewart was just Captain Picard, now he's just Patrick Stewart. (Well. Not just Patrick Stewart. He's pretty freaking epic.) Zachary Quinto isn't simply Sylar any more. The list goes on.
But then there are the actors that are still just their character names. That's fine with me, if it wasn't I wouldn't call actors by those names. Plus that means I don't have to learn as many names as I would otherwise. That's a lot of memory power there.
The only time it's annoying is when I see them in something else that isn't a major thing. At least not in my head.
What brought all this on is the fact that lately I've been going through Criminal Minds on DVD. It was one thing when Meg from Supernatural showed up as a serial killer. That wasn't odd. I mean, it was Meg. But earlier today I was watching an episode and there was Weevil from Veronica Mars. He was playing one of the killers of the episode. Again, not that weird if you know Veronica Mars. Weevil wasn't the best guy ever or anything, but he was a good guy. Just with the "tough guy" front and all that. What threw me off was the fact that here was Weevil playing a killer that was actually seriously shy. My brain had a hard time coping with a shy Weevil.
My brain copes just fine when it's still a similar type of character to what I'm used to thanks to typecasting and everything, like when Dr. Joel Fleischman (Northern Exposure) showed up in The Bucket List as Jack Nicholson's doctor. I was actually pretty happy when Fleischman showed up as the doctor in that, actually. I found it really funny.
Clearly, this post has no real point to it. It's just me rambling on my notebook about stuff that isn't important. But, there it is.
Some people can look at every actor ever and know exactly who they are. Others of us tend to go "Hey, it's that guy!" and then get thrown off when it's someone playing against type. As long as the "type" you're used to thinking of is actually from only one thing.
By the way? While Michael Shanks might not just be Daniel Jackson to me any more, he's still a historian person. Thank you, Smallville, for at least keeping that assumption in tact for me.
Now I am going to go play The Sims 3 or something.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Music To Read Comics By (Part One)
One thing I've noticed is that music can make crappy things better. Sometimes. Not always. Like, if your best friend was screaming because his foot was caught in a bear trap and you had your hands cut off so you couldn't help your best friend get out of the bear trap it's probably safe to say that music wouldn't make the situation better. At all. It might even make the situation worse, cause it could end up getting on your nerves because you're worried about other things that don't consist of the lyrics of La Bamba.
So music is situational. Plus, the musical genre needs to fit the situation that music works for. (Here I was going to mention something about how listening to kids music while in a fight or something wouldn't work, but then I remembered that Kick-Ass disproved that example. So I'll come up with something else.) You don't want to listen to The Animal Song (was that the real name of it?) by the Bloodhound Gang (wasn't that their name?) while you're at the zoo. Cause... ew. Bad images.
But sometimes it does fit and when it does it can be awesome.
Now. Comics themselves aren't a crappy thing. Not to me, at least. I love me some comics. Anyone that knows me can vouch for that statement. But what I'm getting at is every once in a while you can realize that a certain band, CD, or song can go amazingly with a comic.
I put "Part One" in the title of this entry because I've got a feeling that I'm going to come across some other CDs or bands that go better with a given comic series/character than you would expect until you're listening and reading at the same time.
Deadpool - Cobra Starship
Last year, for some reason that probably has to do with the fact that he's a fourth-wall breaking smart-ass, I got pretty into Deadpool. It seems like a lot of comic junkies go through this at some point. Alright, that's obvious. If people didn't like him then he wouldn't show up just about everywhere. Or, he wouldn't in a perfect world, at least. People don't like Liefeld but hey, he keeps getting jobs.
But a few months ago I realized just how sick of him I had gotten. He's an amusing character, sure, but I would probably still enjoy him more if it wasn't for his overexposure. Big companies, including Marvel, still don't understand that there is, in fact, such thing as too much of a good thing.
Oversaturating a market (in this case the comic industry) with something can make it much less fun. For a little while there I was bringing four Deadpool titles every month. Now I"m just sick of him. I brought home two Deadpool books this month because I have a hard time dropping a series once I start it. Thankfully, one of the two ended this month.
Where was I going with this?
Right! Music and comics.
I was dreading reading my Deadpool comics, to be perfectly honest. I was putting it off. But I finally got around to it with the help of Cobra Starship. I am aware that sounds weird, but go with me here.
For those of you that don't know the band, Cobra Starship is a punk-pop-rock-80's-ish band and their feel goes great with the Merc with a Mouth. And they're quirky dorks to top it off. Plus, how could energetic songs with names like The City Is At War (especially if you've seen the video where the "gang/mob war" uses pies to the face instead of guns), The Kids Are All Fucked Up, and Guilty Pleasure not go with a character like Deadpool?
Anyway. Give it a shot. Next time you go to read a Deadpool comic hit up YouTube or something if you don't have any Cobra music already and read along with it playing.
*Note: Overexposure isn't limited to Deadpool. I'm also sick of Wolverine, vampires (for the most part), and Twilight (entirely. No "most part" on this one.). Yes, vampires and Twilight were listed separately intentionally.
**Note 2: I was listening to Fiona Apple as I typed this up. I just felt like sharing that.
So music is situational. Plus, the musical genre needs to fit the situation that music works for. (Here I was going to mention something about how listening to kids music while in a fight or something wouldn't work, but then I remembered that Kick-Ass disproved that example. So I'll come up with something else.) You don't want to listen to The Animal Song (was that the real name of it?) by the Bloodhound Gang (wasn't that their name?) while you're at the zoo. Cause... ew. Bad images.
But sometimes it does fit and when it does it can be awesome.
Now. Comics themselves aren't a crappy thing. Not to me, at least. I love me some comics. Anyone that knows me can vouch for that statement. But what I'm getting at is every once in a while you can realize that a certain band, CD, or song can go amazingly with a comic.
I put "Part One" in the title of this entry because I've got a feeling that I'm going to come across some other CDs or bands that go better with a given comic series/character than you would expect until you're listening and reading at the same time.
Deadpool - Cobra Starship
Last year, for some reason that probably has to do with the fact that he's a fourth-wall breaking smart-ass, I got pretty into Deadpool. It seems like a lot of comic junkies go through this at some point. Alright, that's obvious. If people didn't like him then he wouldn't show up just about everywhere. Or, he wouldn't in a perfect world, at least. People don't like Liefeld but hey, he keeps getting jobs.
But a few months ago I realized just how sick of him I had gotten. He's an amusing character, sure, but I would probably still enjoy him more if it wasn't for his overexposure. Big companies, including Marvel, still don't understand that there is, in fact, such thing as too much of a good thing.
Oversaturating a market (in this case the comic industry) with something can make it much less fun. For a little while there I was bringing four Deadpool titles every month. Now I"m just sick of him. I brought home two Deadpool books this month because I have a hard time dropping a series once I start it. Thankfully, one of the two ended this month.
Where was I going with this?
Right! Music and comics.
I was dreading reading my Deadpool comics, to be perfectly honest. I was putting it off. But I finally got around to it with the help of Cobra Starship. I am aware that sounds weird, but go with me here.
For those of you that don't know the band, Cobra Starship is a punk-pop-rock-80's-ish band and their feel goes great with the Merc with a Mouth. And they're quirky dorks to top it off. Plus, how could energetic songs with names like The City Is At War (especially if you've seen the video where the "gang/mob war" uses pies to the face instead of guns), The Kids Are All Fucked Up, and Guilty Pleasure not go with a character like Deadpool?
Anyway. Give it a shot. Next time you go to read a Deadpool comic hit up YouTube or something if you don't have any Cobra music already and read along with it playing.
*Note: Overexposure isn't limited to Deadpool. I'm also sick of Wolverine, vampires (for the most part), and Twilight (entirely. No "most part" on this one.). Yes, vampires and Twilight were listed separately intentionally.
**Note 2: I was listening to Fiona Apple as I typed this up. I just felt like sharing that.
How Cinnamon Can Ruin Lives
So here's the thing. At my house, we enjoy coffee in the morning. That in itself isn't that unusual. But my mom and my stepdad only make enough for them when they make it. I can't really blame them for doing this, as I don't always drag myself out of bed when it's actually, you know. Morning time. Let alone before they go to work.
But for the past week or so I actually have been getting up early so go me.
I enjoy coffee as well, but considering they only make enough for them in the mornings I just wait until after they leave and make an entire pot for myself. Because it's delicious. And I need about twice as much as they do because for some reason they think it's a good idea to mix the decaff grinds and the regular grinds together. I don't believe in this. I believe that coffee should have as much caffeine in it as humanly possible. Plus, they make the coffee weak anyway. That's just another problem entirely. So basically, I like my coffee strong and caffeinated, not weak and doesn't wake you up.
Yesterday I ran out of my favorite Irish Cream flavored creamer so when I made my coffee I put a little nutmeg and cinnamon in the grinds. It was fantastic. My mom was aware I did this yesterday and she grumbled a bit but let it go.
One thing you need to know about my mom is that if it's not Altoid flavored cinnamon, she doesn't like it. Meaning she doesn't like cinnamon that actually tastes like cinnamon. Because Altoids, Big Red, those little red round candies that I can't remember the name of, they don't actually taste like real cinnamon. They taste vaguely like it, but with the sort-of-hot factor amped up about fifty extra notches. It's sort of how fruit-flavored candy never tastes like the fruit they're supposed to resemble. Banana, grape, lemon, and especially watermelon and cherry. You'd think that the creators of the artificial flavors had never had real cinnamon or fruit before.
Yesterday, once I had my pot of coffee and everything, I rinsed out the coffee pot, made sure there were no cinnamony grinds in the top maker part, and all was good.
Until this morning.
Apparently, a very slight cinnamon flavor was left behind. Very slight. As in when my mom was bitching about how I ruined her morning because her coffee tastes like cinnamon I took a sip of her coffee. You could hardly taste it. You would barely even notice a difference at all if you were unaware that I made my coffee differently the morning before. And yet, this slight little difference ruined my mom's morning.
Oh well. I made it my way again today. I'll just be sure to rinse it again and not tell her that I put cinnamon in my pot this morning. And at a later date I'll just get my own pot and my own grinds. Possibly ones that are already cinnamon flavored just to annoy her by having them in the house.
But for the past week or so I actually have been getting up early so go me.
I enjoy coffee as well, but considering they only make enough for them in the mornings I just wait until after they leave and make an entire pot for myself. Because it's delicious. And I need about twice as much as they do because for some reason they think it's a good idea to mix the decaff grinds and the regular grinds together. I don't believe in this. I believe that coffee should have as much caffeine in it as humanly possible. Plus, they make the coffee weak anyway. That's just another problem entirely. So basically, I like my coffee strong and caffeinated, not weak and doesn't wake you up.
Yesterday I ran out of my favorite Irish Cream flavored creamer so when I made my coffee I put a little nutmeg and cinnamon in the grinds. It was fantastic. My mom was aware I did this yesterday and she grumbled a bit but let it go.
One thing you need to know about my mom is that if it's not Altoid flavored cinnamon, she doesn't like it. Meaning she doesn't like cinnamon that actually tastes like cinnamon. Because Altoids, Big Red, those little red round candies that I can't remember the name of, they don't actually taste like real cinnamon. They taste vaguely like it, but with the sort-of-hot factor amped up about fifty extra notches. It's sort of how fruit-flavored candy never tastes like the fruit they're supposed to resemble. Banana, grape, lemon, and especially watermelon and cherry. You'd think that the creators of the artificial flavors had never had real cinnamon or fruit before.
Yesterday, once I had my pot of coffee and everything, I rinsed out the coffee pot, made sure there were no cinnamony grinds in the top maker part, and all was good.
Until this morning.
Apparently, a very slight cinnamon flavor was left behind. Very slight. As in when my mom was bitching about how I ruined her morning because her coffee tastes like cinnamon I took a sip of her coffee. You could hardly taste it. You would barely even notice a difference at all if you were unaware that I made my coffee differently the morning before. And yet, this slight little difference ruined my mom's morning.
Oh well. I made it my way again today. I'll just be sure to rinse it again and not tell her that I put cinnamon in my pot this morning. And at a later date I'll just get my own pot and my own grinds. Possibly ones that are already cinnamon flavored just to annoy her by having them in the house.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Velociraptor Parties Would Rock Unless You're An Edmontosaurus
I've been laying in my bed for hours trying to get to sleep because I have to work in the morning and I don't particularly want to take Ambien again. Clearly it wasn't working. And it wasn't really hours. More like 45 minutes, but it felt like hours and that's the important part.
I'm actually not even that tired. I just know that I should go to sleep because if I don't go to sleep then I'll end up oversleeping and doing my route way late again and I really need to start doing it at normal hours again. Not that the hours that I've been doing it aren't normal, they're just not the "preferred" hours.
So, I decided to do what any sane person that can't sleep would do.
I've gotten on the computer to write about velociraptors. (My spellchecker says that "velociraptors" is not a word. But Google and I both disagree, therefor it is wrong. It says that I should change it to "velocipede." Is that some sort of half-velociraptor-half-centipede? Or a millipede? Is it a velociraptor with 10-1000 legs? On a similar note, my spellchecker also thinks that "internet" is not a word but "Internet" is. Yeah. I have the stupidest spellchecker ever.)
(This is a picture of a real life velociraptor. I took it while I was in Alaska last month. Because velociraptors are still quite abundant and not at all extinct up there. Also, they let you ride them like horses, but you have to give them $3.57 first. No more, no less. Velociraptors are sticklers for proper monetary amounts. Everyone knows that. Plus, they have no pockets so they can't give you change, they'll just eat you instead.)
Some people may be wondering what being unable to get to sleep has to do with velociraptors. The answer is simple.
Don't think about it. Seriously. Just... don't try to figure out how my brain gets from point A to point B. It won't work.
Anyway, a couple of days ago I took a quiz entitled "What Dinosaur Would You Be." Apparently, due to the fact that I'm (supposedly) smart and I sometimes settle (or at least attempt to settle) problems with violence, plus a few other things that I can't remember, I'm a velociraptor.
I don't remember where I was going with this. I had something planned out. I really did. I was thinking it over while being unable to get to sleep. But it seems like it just disappeared out of the headspace.
Oh! I remember now!
Right. So. I'd be a velociraptor, which is pretty awesome because velociraptors are kick-ass. They're all smart and can open doors into kitchens and stuff. Because Jurassic Park was pure fact. It was a documentary, in fact. Except for the fact that it wasn't a documentary at all and it was probably wrong about pretty much anything. But I still believe that velociraptors can open doors, and I know how to open doors, therefor I am a velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure that velociraptors would have fun parties. They'd have all sorts of finger--er, talon--foods to munch on while you watched one of them play Pin The Horn On The Triceratops or tried to hit the edmontosaurus pinata. It would be a real, live edmontosaurus, by the way. They didn't have paper mache or candy back then. Plus the velociraptors only ate meat anyway.
Maybe some of the dinosaurs thought of small-dinosaur eggs as candy. Like their version of Cadbury Eggs. Maybe that's where the idea for Cadbury Eggs came from in the first place.
Other words my spellchecker doesn't think are real: Ambien, edmontosaurus, mache, and Cadbury.
I'm actually not even that tired. I just know that I should go to sleep because if I don't go to sleep then I'll end up oversleeping and doing my route way late again and I really need to start doing it at normal hours again. Not that the hours that I've been doing it aren't normal, they're just not the "preferred" hours.
So, I decided to do what any sane person that can't sleep would do.
I've gotten on the computer to write about velociraptors. (My spellchecker says that "velociraptors" is not a word. But Google and I both disagree, therefor it is wrong. It says that I should change it to "velocipede." Is that some sort of half-velociraptor-half-centipede? Or a millipede? Is it a velociraptor with 10-1000 legs? On a similar note, my spellchecker also thinks that "internet" is not a word but "Internet" is. Yeah. I have the stupidest spellchecker ever.)
(This is a picture of a real life velociraptor. I took it while I was in Alaska last month. Because velociraptors are still quite abundant and not at all extinct up there. Also, they let you ride them like horses, but you have to give them $3.57 first. No more, no less. Velociraptors are sticklers for proper monetary amounts. Everyone knows that. Plus, they have no pockets so they can't give you change, they'll just eat you instead.)Some people may be wondering what being unable to get to sleep has to do with velociraptors. The answer is simple.
Don't think about it. Seriously. Just... don't try to figure out how my brain gets from point A to point B. It won't work.
Anyway, a couple of days ago I took a quiz entitled "What Dinosaur Would You Be." Apparently, due to the fact that I'm (supposedly) smart and I sometimes settle (or at least attempt to settle) problems with violence, plus a few other things that I can't remember, I'm a velociraptor.
I don't remember where I was going with this. I had something planned out. I really did. I was thinking it over while being unable to get to sleep. But it seems like it just disappeared out of the headspace.
Oh! I remember now!
Right. So. I'd be a velociraptor, which is pretty awesome because velociraptors are kick-ass. They're all smart and can open doors into kitchens and stuff. Because Jurassic Park was pure fact. It was a documentary, in fact. Except for the fact that it wasn't a documentary at all and it was probably wrong about pretty much anything. But I still believe that velociraptors can open doors, and I know how to open doors, therefor I am a velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure that velociraptors would have fun parties. They'd have all sorts of finger--er, talon--foods to munch on while you watched one of them play Pin The Horn On The Triceratops or tried to hit the edmontosaurus pinata. It would be a real, live edmontosaurus, by the way. They didn't have paper mache or candy back then. Plus the velociraptors only ate meat anyway.
Maybe some of the dinosaurs thought of small-dinosaur eggs as candy. Like their version of Cadbury Eggs. Maybe that's where the idea for Cadbury Eggs came from in the first place.
Other words my spellchecker doesn't think are real: Ambien, edmontosaurus, mache, and Cadbury.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Things I Need To Spend My Money On But I Never Get Around To It
Considering I only work part time, I'm not the richest of people. My job that gives me money consists of going to eight different grocery stores three times a week and putting Mayfield milk on the shelves. My route takes me about three hours a day. That means I work about nine hours a week on the milk-stocking. That's not much.
My job that doesn't pay me in money, but instead pays me in store credit, is working roughly once a week at the comic shop that I spend too much time at anyway. I bag comics once a week and write for the newsletter. Like I said, I don't get paid in money. But I get store credit which keeps me from spending the little bits of money that I actually have. Usually. Sometimes I spend money there anyway.
There are some things that I should actually be spending my money on though. The problem is, I never seem to get around to these things. Here's a short list of the first things that come to mind on that list.
1. New Tires
In February I was informed that I need two new tires. I have not gotten them yet. This is especially bad when you consider that my money-job keeps me driving from place to place for roughly an hour and a half each time I work. And the fact that if I ever want to go do something I have to go to one of the neighboring cities, as there is nothing to do in this city and none of my friends I hang out with live here anyway.
2. An Oil Change
Luckily, this is not something that I've been putting off. The point where I need an oil change just rolled around earlier this week.
3. New Wipers
Whenever I use my wipers they leave my windshield streaky now. I've had my car for four years and I've never replaced them. I really should get around to doing this part. It's not even expensive or anything.
4. Windshield Fluid Stuff
I ran out about a month ago. The fluid is only about $2 per gallon, but I haven't gotten any yet. Partly because of the fact that I'm not sure where to even pour the stuff because there's this big plastic thing that goes over the engine of my car. No, I don't mean the hood. My hood is metal, not plastic. Anyway, there's this big plastic thing and I'm not sure how to get it off. Could be because I've never tried to, but I've never had a reason to take it off. The only thing I'm sure of how to do under there is check my oil, and the oil cap actually comes up through the plastic thingy so I don't have to worry about that.
See? I have all that stuff I should get. But I haven't. Because clearly there is something wrong with me where I put off car stuff even though I paid a lot of money for my car and I use it a lot because it is actually flat out necessary to work.
Here are the things I've spent money on this week, not including stuff like gas and coffee. (No, not Starbucks. That's too much. I mean coffee from the gas station.)
1. Smallville Season One
I justified this buy getting a used copy for only $10 instead of the $30 or more that it would cost everywhere else. And by the fact that I don't have cable in my room and I've been going through the four seasons of Stargate SG-1 that I already owned since my cable went out, but I'm almost done with season four. Therefor, I'm almost out of entertainment in my room. Unless I want to play video games the entire time I'm in there. I don't.
2. Hellblazer Presents Chas: The Knowledge
I justified this in a couple ways. For one thing, I hardly ever actually spend money at the comic shop. I just take everything for free cause of that store credit I earn. And I felt kind of bad for that for the time it took to buy this graphic novel. As soon as I got it though, I didn't feel bad any more. Now I can probably go on not spending money there for a few more weeks before I guilt myself into spending money there again.
Secondly, I've been slowly collecting the Hellblazer trades and that was one that I didn't have already.
3. Marvel Universe vs. The Punisher #2
Why did I buy that this past Sunday instead of waiting till Wednesday to get it for free? See above. When I talked about getting Hellblazer. Again, the guilt was gone as soon as I left the store. That, and the fact that my brain was going "Hey, it's just $3.99. I can swing that."
Oh, and I was out of comics to read for the week.
So now you have what I spent my money on this week instead of important stuff like tires and an oil change.
Also, here is what I have done with this stuff.
Smallville- I set it on my desk beside my DVD player. It has not been watched yet.
Hellblazer Presents Chas: The Knowledge- I have read 2/5 of it. Not the entire thing. It's sitting on my floor beside my bed, along with all the other comics I haven't read yet. (I replenished my supply on Wednesday when more came out. I did not spend money on them Wednesday.)
Marvel Universe vs. The Punisher- I have not read it yet. It is in my stack of comics-to-be-read, along with Hellblazer.
Keep in mind that I got all three things on Sunday. It is now Saturday. Clearly my purchases were well worth it and couldn't have possibly waited until I had taken care of all the other things on my list. Because I am a moron.
Update!: I have finished Hellblazer. It was good.
I still haven't touched Smallville or Marvel Universe though.
My job that doesn't pay me in money, but instead pays me in store credit, is working roughly once a week at the comic shop that I spend too much time at anyway. I bag comics once a week and write for the newsletter. Like I said, I don't get paid in money. But I get store credit which keeps me from spending the little bits of money that I actually have. Usually. Sometimes I spend money there anyway.
There are some things that I should actually be spending my money on though. The problem is, I never seem to get around to these things. Here's a short list of the first things that come to mind on that list.
1. New Tires
In February I was informed that I need two new tires. I have not gotten them yet. This is especially bad when you consider that my money-job keeps me driving from place to place for roughly an hour and a half each time I work. And the fact that if I ever want to go do something I have to go to one of the neighboring cities, as there is nothing to do in this city and none of my friends I hang out with live here anyway.
2. An Oil Change
Luckily, this is not something that I've been putting off. The point where I need an oil change just rolled around earlier this week.
3. New Wipers
Whenever I use my wipers they leave my windshield streaky now. I've had my car for four years and I've never replaced them. I really should get around to doing this part. It's not even expensive or anything.
4. Windshield Fluid Stuff
I ran out about a month ago. The fluid is only about $2 per gallon, but I haven't gotten any yet. Partly because of the fact that I'm not sure where to even pour the stuff because there's this big plastic thing that goes over the engine of my car. No, I don't mean the hood. My hood is metal, not plastic. Anyway, there's this big plastic thing and I'm not sure how to get it off. Could be because I've never tried to, but I've never had a reason to take it off. The only thing I'm sure of how to do under there is check my oil, and the oil cap actually comes up through the plastic thingy so I don't have to worry about that.
See? I have all that stuff I should get. But I haven't. Because clearly there is something wrong with me where I put off car stuff even though I paid a lot of money for my car and I use it a lot because it is actually flat out necessary to work.
Here are the things I've spent money on this week, not including stuff like gas and coffee. (No, not Starbucks. That's too much. I mean coffee from the gas station.)
1. Smallville Season One
I justified this buy getting a used copy for only $10 instead of the $30 or more that it would cost everywhere else. And by the fact that I don't have cable in my room and I've been going through the four seasons of Stargate SG-1 that I already owned since my cable went out, but I'm almost done with season four. Therefor, I'm almost out of entertainment in my room. Unless I want to play video games the entire time I'm in there. I don't.
2. Hellblazer Presents Chas: The Knowledge
I justified this in a couple ways. For one thing, I hardly ever actually spend money at the comic shop. I just take everything for free cause of that store credit I earn. And I felt kind of bad for that for the time it took to buy this graphic novel. As soon as I got it though, I didn't feel bad any more. Now I can probably go on not spending money there for a few more weeks before I guilt myself into spending money there again.
Secondly, I've been slowly collecting the Hellblazer trades and that was one that I didn't have already.
3. Marvel Universe vs. The Punisher #2
Why did I buy that this past Sunday instead of waiting till Wednesday to get it for free? See above. When I talked about getting Hellblazer. Again, the guilt was gone as soon as I left the store. That, and the fact that my brain was going "Hey, it's just $3.99. I can swing that."
Oh, and I was out of comics to read for the week.
So now you have what I spent my money on this week instead of important stuff like tires and an oil change.
Also, here is what I have done with this stuff.
Smallville- I set it on my desk beside my DVD player. It has not been watched yet.
Hellblazer Presents Chas: The Knowledge- I have read 2/5 of it. Not the entire thing. It's sitting on my floor beside my bed, along with all the other comics I haven't read yet. (I replenished my supply on Wednesday when more came out. I did not spend money on them Wednesday.)
Marvel Universe vs. The Punisher- I have not read it yet. It is in my stack of comics-to-be-read, along with Hellblazer.
Keep in mind that I got all three things on Sunday. It is now Saturday. Clearly my purchases were well worth it and couldn't have possibly waited until I had taken care of all the other things on my list. Because I am a moron.
Update!: I have finished Hellblazer. It was good.
I still haven't touched Smallville or Marvel Universe though.
Steve Carell Does Sort-Of African Music Or Something
Alright. There's this song. It's sort of techno-y, sort of African-y, and it's on the soundtrack for season four of Queer as Folk. It's called Strobe's Nanafushi and its sung/performed/whatevered by Kodo. I don't know if Kodo is just one person, if it includes everyone and their mom that might be involved, I know nothing about this person/band.
Except that it involves Steve Carell.
There's weird chanting vocals all through it and they sound just like him. As soon as I recognized that it was, in fact*, him that was making weird noises in my ears, I could no longer take the song seriously. It just became funny. It was like a comedy song without any actual words. Just noises.
There is no way that this is not him. I mean, seriously. Not too many people sound exactly like Steve Carell. And I mean exactly. Not "Hey. That sort sounds him." No. It was me going "What the fuck is Michael Scott doing making weird African chanting noises in my ears?"
This is the song that is apparently done by Steve Carell. Feel free to listen. Yes, it's YouTube. Yes, it's a song that was on QaF. But it's not a music video or anything. And the closest you get to gayboys is the fact that the picture that stays the same through the entire song is a picture of the cover of the season four soundtrack on which the song can be found anyway.
You will be assaulted by the sounds of Steve Carell making noises that go something along the lines of "Ayyyahayyaaaayaahayyahayaahhh." That may be an exact translation. There's no way to know for sure. And it could be that he was singing about rainbows and candy. Or he could have been singing about mass genocide.
*This is not a fact. It is nothing more than a strong suspicion.
Except that it involves Steve Carell.
There's weird chanting vocals all through it and they sound just like him. As soon as I recognized that it was, in fact*, him that was making weird noises in my ears, I could no longer take the song seriously. It just became funny. It was like a comedy song without any actual words. Just noises.
There is no way that this is not him. I mean, seriously. Not too many people sound exactly like Steve Carell. And I mean exactly. Not "Hey. That sort sounds him." No. It was me going "What the fuck is Michael Scott doing making weird African chanting noises in my ears?"
This is the song that is apparently done by Steve Carell. Feel free to listen. Yes, it's YouTube. Yes, it's a song that was on QaF. But it's not a music video or anything. And the closest you get to gayboys is the fact that the picture that stays the same through the entire song is a picture of the cover of the season four soundtrack on which the song can be found anyway.
You will be assaulted by the sounds of Steve Carell making noises that go something along the lines of "Ayyyahayyaaaayaahayyahayaahhh." That may be an exact translation. There's no way to know for sure. And it could be that he was singing about rainbows and candy. Or he could have been singing about mass genocide.
*This is not a fact. It is nothing more than a strong suspicion.
Ambien Makes Winchesters Wiggle And Pixies Change Colors
Alright. I'm going to do this again for tonight. And then I'm going to bed. Supposedly.
I've got sleeping problems. Most of the time lately I've been sleeping for about three hours before waking up and being completely unable to go back to sleep. It's causing problems. You know. Headaches. Being tired when I work. Being irritable cause I'm tired and I have a headache and all I want to do is go back to bed but no, I have to work instead of sleep. The basics.
This has been going on for about a week. Tonight I'm trying to remedy it. I just took an Ambien.
Really, it was the generic version of Ambien. I'm not sure what the generic names for stuff is called aside from the fact that generic Tylenol is "Pain Reliever." Yeah. Way to get lame. But it gets the point across, because both Tylenol and Pain Reliever do, in fact, relieve pain.
Anyway, like I said. Ambien. I just took one. I took it with a cup of coffee which probably defeats the purpose, but whatever. The Ambien Police can suck it for all I care. Coffee is what I happened to be drinking so it's what I took my pill with.
And it isn't like it's regular coffee. My mom can't handle regular coffee, but she needs caffeine, so whenever she gets coffee grounds she mixes half decaff and half regular together. I am not a fan of this, but I am a fan of coffee. And I am also a fan of not spending money on coffee when I can get it for free. I'm like that with a lot of things. I never buy bread. Or mayonnaise. Or tomatoes. But I eat tomato sandwiches quite often.
Yes. I live with my mom again. This is something I'm hoping to change soon. But first I have to get my sleep fixed.
Anyway, I took some Ambien. Once I made the mistake of taking two Ambiens (Ambieii? Ambinetti? I don't know.) and then, instead of going to bed within 30 minutes or so, I stayed up. And stayed up. And stayed up. And started babbling to my friend MJ about how her AIM icon was moving. Because the clouds were fucking moving and the Winchester brothers were dancing around by the Impala even though in reality they weren't. It wasn't a gif image. It wasn't animated. It was just a normal picture. And I drew a picture of a pixie. And she started changing colors and it just didn't make any sense. I mean, she was freaking flickering in these bright neon colors even though I drew her in a mechanical pencil. I wrote a journal entry (when it comes to journals, I keep a handwritten one) that made no sense and was hard to read because my handwriting was all over the place. I didn't even fucking date it right. I said it was January. It was June. I was so screwed up on Ambien that I thought it was winter again. The past winter. Apparently I thought I found myself a TARDIS and time traveled back to January or some shit. I didn't write any of that in the entry, but you can tell. I was insane. All because of Ambien.
Tonight I don't plan on doing that though. I plan on going to bed as soon as I finish writing this thing. Whenever that'll be. Because I can babble with the best of them, but only when I'm not actually around people or I'm really comfortable with them. And gotta be honest, I don't get really comfortable with people in real life all that easily.
Oh. Unless it's shit like books, movies, comics, Blur, that sort of thing. I can babble about that stuff no matter who I'm talking to. Doesn't matter. You hate comics? I don't care. I'll tell you about them. Because it will make you leave and I don't want to associate with people that don't like comics.
Nah, that's a lie. I don't care if you like them or not. Everyone's into their own thing. Whatever. Some people like wrestling. I don't. That doesn't make them any les-- okay. Another lie. Being into the WWE or whatever it is makes you a douchewad. Because I can't think of a single person I like that's into that stuff.
The moral of the story is that if you take Ambien then stay up for hours? You will be drugged out of your mind.
And people that like wrestling are douchewads.
Update: Yeah. I'm awake again. I got less than three hours of sleep. Fuck. But I had awesome dreams due to my iPod playing Nightmare Before Christmas music at me. The dreams were like if Danny Elfman and Henry Selick had a baby. Meanwhile, Neil Gaiman and Tim Burton had a baby. And when those two babies grew up they had a baby together. That is what my dream was like. It was awesome.
I've got sleeping problems. Most of the time lately I've been sleeping for about three hours before waking up and being completely unable to go back to sleep. It's causing problems. You know. Headaches. Being tired when I work. Being irritable cause I'm tired and I have a headache and all I want to do is go back to bed but no, I have to work instead of sleep. The basics.
This has been going on for about a week. Tonight I'm trying to remedy it. I just took an Ambien.
Really, it was the generic version of Ambien. I'm not sure what the generic names for stuff is called aside from the fact that generic Tylenol is "Pain Reliever." Yeah. Way to get lame. But it gets the point across, because both Tylenol and Pain Reliever do, in fact, relieve pain.
Anyway, like I said. Ambien. I just took one. I took it with a cup of coffee which probably defeats the purpose, but whatever. The Ambien Police can suck it for all I care. Coffee is what I happened to be drinking so it's what I took my pill with.
And it isn't like it's regular coffee. My mom can't handle regular coffee, but she needs caffeine, so whenever she gets coffee grounds she mixes half decaff and half regular together. I am not a fan of this, but I am a fan of coffee. And I am also a fan of not spending money on coffee when I can get it for free. I'm like that with a lot of things. I never buy bread. Or mayonnaise. Or tomatoes. But I eat tomato sandwiches quite often.
Yes. I live with my mom again. This is something I'm hoping to change soon. But first I have to get my sleep fixed.
Anyway, I took some Ambien. Once I made the mistake of taking two Ambiens (Ambieii? Ambinetti? I don't know.) and then, instead of going to bed within 30 minutes or so, I stayed up. And stayed up. And stayed up. And started babbling to my friend MJ about how her AIM icon was moving. Because the clouds were fucking moving and the Winchester brothers were dancing around by the Impala even though in reality they weren't. It wasn't a gif image. It wasn't animated. It was just a normal picture. And I drew a picture of a pixie. And she started changing colors and it just didn't make any sense. I mean, she was freaking flickering in these bright neon colors even though I drew her in a mechanical pencil. I wrote a journal entry (when it comes to journals, I keep a handwritten one) that made no sense and was hard to read because my handwriting was all over the place. I didn't even fucking date it right. I said it was January. It was June. I was so screwed up on Ambien that I thought it was winter again. The past winter. Apparently I thought I found myself a TARDIS and time traveled back to January or some shit. I didn't write any of that in the entry, but you can tell. I was insane. All because of Ambien.
Tonight I don't plan on doing that though. I plan on going to bed as soon as I finish writing this thing. Whenever that'll be. Because I can babble with the best of them, but only when I'm not actually around people or I'm really comfortable with them. And gotta be honest, I don't get really comfortable with people in real life all that easily.
Oh. Unless it's shit like books, movies, comics, Blur, that sort of thing. I can babble about that stuff no matter who I'm talking to. Doesn't matter. You hate comics? I don't care. I'll tell you about them. Because it will make you leave and I don't want to associate with people that don't like comics.
Nah, that's a lie. I don't care if you like them or not. Everyone's into their own thing. Whatever. Some people like wrestling. I don't. That doesn't make them any les-- okay. Another lie. Being into the WWE or whatever it is makes you a douchewad. Because I can't think of a single person I like that's into that stuff.
The moral of the story is that if you take Ambien then stay up for hours? You will be drugged out of your mind.
And people that like wrestling are douchewads.
Update: Yeah. I'm awake again. I got less than three hours of sleep. Fuck. But I had awesome dreams due to my iPod playing Nightmare Before Christmas music at me. The dreams were like if Danny Elfman and Henry Selick had a baby. Meanwhile, Neil Gaiman and Tim Burton had a baby. And when those two babies grew up they had a baby together. That is what my dream was like. It was awesome.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Why I Don't Want To Live In Neverland (Fairies Are Fuckers)
I mentioned in my first post that I don't want to live in Neverland (the Peter Pan one, dickwads. But I wouldn't want to live in the other one, either.) despite the fact that I am, in fact, twenty-five years old and thus far I don't really want to become an actual adult with all those responsibilities and everything. Just so you know, there are actual reasons for why I don't want to live there.
1. Twelve-Year-Olds
The average human inhabitant seems to be roughly twelve years old. At most. No, that's a lie. There's also the pirates. But I'll get to that later. Oh, and the indians. Also later.
Right now I'm talking about the twelve year olds. Those boys that were all "I don't want to grow up!" so then the fairies came and kidnapped them which probably fucked up the mental state of their parents forever because dude, their sons were kidnapped by fairies. Who the hell gets kidnapped by fairies anyway?
Anyway, so these little boys are kidnapped by fairies when they're babies and taken to a world where they supposedly can't grow or anything. And yet they do. They grow to the ages of roughly six-to-twelve years old. And then they stop. Mentally, physically, every way that ends with "ally" they stop growing. I know that I can be seriously immature most of the time, but it isn't quite to the point that I would want to spend god knows how long surrounded by fucking twelve year olds. There's a reason that I don't go to the comic shop I work part time at on Saturdays and it has a lot to do with the twelve year olds.
I would spend all my time longing for a pirate or indian attack, hoping that I could watch these annoying kids that whine about shit like marbles and dress like animals for no fucking reason get brutally slaughtered. Because they would drive me nuts.
Plus? That's what creepers want. Creepers want to be surrounded by little boys all the time. I am not a creeper.
2. Fucking Fairies.
Fairies. Pixies. Whatever they are. Either one is fine. The point is, no. I do not want to live with the fairies of the Neverland world. They're too small to hold anything but one emotion at a time. They tried to kill the last chick that showed up because Peter liked her more. (Okay, that was just Tink, and Tink can be a BAMF, unless being played by Julia Roberts, but she's also a petty bitch with no morals at all.)
They are tiny, but they're strong enough to carry a fucking baby from London all the way to Neverland. Keep in mind, Neverland is apparently in another universe. And it's a universe that goes by what Earth uses as morning and night. "Second star to the right and straight on till morning." How can you tell when it's morning when you're in space? Space does not work that way. It is not always morning or night in space depending on what time it is back on Earth.
Anyway. The pixiefairies have no problems with killing you if they're annoyed. None at all. And I have a feeling that if I accidentally stepped on one all the Lost Boys would either cry or try to kill me.
Also? The tinkling bell noise. That would irritate me. And the glittery pixie dust. When it gets on you it's stuck there for years. If you get glitter in your hair you have to shave your head to get rid of it. I'm a chick. I don't want to shave my head.
3. Where The Hell Is It?
It's towards the second star to the right! The second star to the right of what? The North Star? Big Ben? What if I don't live in London? I can't tell which star is the second one to the right of Big Ben in that case. What if I'm looking up at the sky from the wrong side of Big Ben? If I get flown to the wrong "second star to the right" will I end up in some crazy Bizarro World version of Neverland?
4. Stereotypical Indians
Pixiefairies aren't the only thing to worry about in Neverland. There's also the stereotypical indians. Or is it "Injuns?" I can't tell. Because they're stereotypical. They're definitely not Native Americans, that's for sure.
They run around saying shit like "How!" and "Whose'um there?" even though we all know that's pretty much bullshit. And then they want to scalp you or something. Or just run around beating their drums like irritating rejects from the high school drum line.
5. Pirates
Pirates are bad.
Supposedly. Okay, I don't really agree with this one. The Neverland pirates are the only good thing about the place. Because they're pirates. And pirates are awesome. And guess what! They're not twelve years old. So what if Hook was chasing Peter and wanting him dead? I'd want him dead, too. When you think about it, Peter did nothing but cause shit for Hook from day one. It was even Peter's fault that Hook lost his hand and the crocodile was after him.
If I ended up stuck in Neverland I'd totally be a pirate
1. Twelve-Year-Olds
The average human inhabitant seems to be roughly twelve years old. At most. No, that's a lie. There's also the pirates. But I'll get to that later. Oh, and the indians. Also later.
Right now I'm talking about the twelve year olds. Those boys that were all "I don't want to grow up!" so then the fairies came and kidnapped them which probably fucked up the mental state of their parents forever because dude, their sons were kidnapped by fairies. Who the hell gets kidnapped by fairies anyway?
Anyway, so these little boys are kidnapped by fairies when they're babies and taken to a world where they supposedly can't grow or anything. And yet they do. They grow to the ages of roughly six-to-twelve years old. And then they stop. Mentally, physically, every way that ends with "ally" they stop growing. I know that I can be seriously immature most of the time, but it isn't quite to the point that I would want to spend god knows how long surrounded by fucking twelve year olds. There's a reason that I don't go to the comic shop I work part time at on Saturdays and it has a lot to do with the twelve year olds.
I would spend all my time longing for a pirate or indian attack, hoping that I could watch these annoying kids that whine about shit like marbles and dress like animals for no fucking reason get brutally slaughtered. Because they would drive me nuts.
Plus? That's what creepers want. Creepers want to be surrounded by little boys all the time. I am not a creeper.
2. Fucking Fairies.
Fairies. Pixies. Whatever they are. Either one is fine. The point is, no. I do not want to live with the fairies of the Neverland world. They're too small to hold anything but one emotion at a time. They tried to kill the last chick that showed up because Peter liked her more. (Okay, that was just Tink, and Tink can be a BAMF, unless being played by Julia Roberts, but she's also a petty bitch with no morals at all.)
They are tiny, but they're strong enough to carry a fucking baby from London all the way to Neverland. Keep in mind, Neverland is apparently in another universe. And it's a universe that goes by what Earth uses as morning and night. "Second star to the right and straight on till morning." How can you tell when it's morning when you're in space? Space does not work that way. It is not always morning or night in space depending on what time it is back on Earth.
Anyway. The pixiefairies have no problems with killing you if they're annoyed. None at all. And I have a feeling that if I accidentally stepped on one all the Lost Boys would either cry or try to kill me.
Also? The tinkling bell noise. That would irritate me. And the glittery pixie dust. When it gets on you it's stuck there for years. If you get glitter in your hair you have to shave your head to get rid of it. I'm a chick. I don't want to shave my head.
3. Where The Hell Is It?
It's towards the second star to the right! The second star to the right of what? The North Star? Big Ben? What if I don't live in London? I can't tell which star is the second one to the right of Big Ben in that case. What if I'm looking up at the sky from the wrong side of Big Ben? If I get flown to the wrong "second star to the right" will I end up in some crazy Bizarro World version of Neverland?
4. Stereotypical Indians
Pixiefairies aren't the only thing to worry about in Neverland. There's also the stereotypical indians. Or is it "Injuns?" I can't tell. Because they're stereotypical. They're definitely not Native Americans, that's for sure.
They run around saying shit like "How!" and "Whose'um there?" even though we all know that's pretty much bullshit. And then they want to scalp you or something. Or just run around beating their drums like irritating rejects from the high school drum line.
5. Pirates
Pirates are bad.
Supposedly. Okay, I don't really agree with this one. The Neverland pirates are the only good thing about the place. Because they're pirates. And pirates are awesome. And guess what! They're not twelve years old. So what if Hook was chasing Peter and wanting him dead? I'd want him dead, too. When you think about it, Peter did nothing but cause shit for Hook from day one. It was even Peter's fault that Hook lost his hand and the crocodile was after him.
If I ended up stuck in Neverland I'd totally be a pirate
Why, Hello There!
Shit. I've been spotted.
Maybe if I slink back into my corner no one will notice me. And those that have spotted me will forget that I was ever in their line of sight in the first place.
Wait. That would be counter productive. Because dude. If I wanted to remain entirely unnoticed for the rest of my life, I wouldn't have started this thing, would I? You don't start blogs if you're not willing to have people notice that you exist. That's just stupid. But. Then again, there is a lot of stupid out there in the world.
Hello. I am Anne. "Who is this crazy chick that has already started babbling somewhat incoherently?" you may ask. Well, this crazy chick would be me. The previously mentioned Anne. And I have indeed started a blog.
Even though I've already said something about the fact that there is a lot of stupid in the world, I don't mean that this is going to become some sort of blog that's all political social commentary about the world. There may be some social commentary, but of the fun sort. Not the political sort. Because I can't stand politics. My friends know better than to try to talk to me about politics. My mom, on the other hand, can't seem to get it through her head that no, I will not have a conversation about the current state of whatever it is the government is supposedly trying to reform. Instead, I will punch her in the throat.
Except not really. Because she's my mom. I won't punch her in the throat.
I did throw a stapler at her once though. But, it was during my overly-emotional-teenage-years. I have an excuse.
As you can probably tell, there is a good chance that I will veer off of whatever line of thought I started a post on and end up somewhere completely different. Such as how I went from going "Don't look at me" to "I once threw a stapler at my mom." Do not be alarmed when this happens. No, I am not on drugs. No, I am not drunk. I don't do drugs and I rarely ever drink these days. I outgrew the stage of my life where I felt like going to the bar several times a week when I was twenty-two or twenty-three.
Do not confuse that statement with me thinking I'm an adult. I'm twenty-five, but I don't think I'm an adult in the slightest. And I have no idea how to become one. And I don't think I want to be one because I've got enough stress as it is and I'm pretty sure that becoming an adult will just lead to even more stress.
Also, no, I don't want to move to Neverland with the Lost Boys, another group of people that don't want to become adults. Here in the real world people don't become adults all the time and they lead functional lives anyway.
But, Neverland does have pirates. So it's got that in it's favor.
Anyway, if you are the sort of person that enjoys funny things then by all means, feel free to read this whenever I get around to updating it. If you are not the sort of person that enjoys funny things then I suggest you go live in a cave. Because in a cave you will find no funny things and your life is sure to be much happier there, as you won't have any funny things to anger you.
Maybe if I slink back into my corner no one will notice me. And those that have spotted me will forget that I was ever in their line of sight in the first place.
Wait. That would be counter productive. Because dude. If I wanted to remain entirely unnoticed for the rest of my life, I wouldn't have started this thing, would I? You don't start blogs if you're not willing to have people notice that you exist. That's just stupid. But. Then again, there is a lot of stupid out there in the world.
Hello. I am Anne. "Who is this crazy chick that has already started babbling somewhat incoherently?" you may ask. Well, this crazy chick would be me. The previously mentioned Anne. And I have indeed started a blog.
Even though I've already said something about the fact that there is a lot of stupid in the world, I don't mean that this is going to become some sort of blog that's all political social commentary about the world. There may be some social commentary, but of the fun sort. Not the political sort. Because I can't stand politics. My friends know better than to try to talk to me about politics. My mom, on the other hand, can't seem to get it through her head that no, I will not have a conversation about the current state of whatever it is the government is supposedly trying to reform. Instead, I will punch her in the throat.
Except not really. Because she's my mom. I won't punch her in the throat.
I did throw a stapler at her once though. But, it was during my overly-emotional-teenage-years. I have an excuse.
As you can probably tell, there is a good chance that I will veer off of whatever line of thought I started a post on and end up somewhere completely different. Such as how I went from going "Don't look at me" to "I once threw a stapler at my mom." Do not be alarmed when this happens. No, I am not on drugs. No, I am not drunk. I don't do drugs and I rarely ever drink these days. I outgrew the stage of my life where I felt like going to the bar several times a week when I was twenty-two or twenty-three.
Do not confuse that statement with me thinking I'm an adult. I'm twenty-five, but I don't think I'm an adult in the slightest. And I have no idea how to become one. And I don't think I want to be one because I've got enough stress as it is and I'm pretty sure that becoming an adult will just lead to even more stress.
Also, no, I don't want to move to Neverland with the Lost Boys, another group of people that don't want to become adults. Here in the real world people don't become adults all the time and they lead functional lives anyway.
But, Neverland does have pirates. So it's got that in it's favor.
Anyway, if you are the sort of person that enjoys funny things then by all means, feel free to read this whenever I get around to updating it. If you are not the sort of person that enjoys funny things then I suggest you go live in a cave. Because in a cave you will find no funny things and your life is sure to be much happier there, as you won't have any funny things to anger you.
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