Tonight I took an Ambien for the first time in quite some time. And I laid down, watching History International (which seems rather stuck in the US) to try to get some sleep. It's going fine for a while, then everything on the TV seems like it's in 3D. At that point it went from going just fine to going EPIC. Documentary about Jesse James and his treasure IN 3D.
And then I start noticing more and more bright colors to the side of my TV. Bright colors. I couldn't quite tell if they were little things made out of pool float plastic or awesome drapes that came out of nowhere. Cause I didn't have anything there.
I get up to check it out, but it's a slow process. It takes me about four tries to get up without falling over. Oh yes. The Ambien has kicked in. I walk the two steps from where I was flopping out of bed to the TV to examine it and I see nothing that isn't normally there. Poster of Rikku over the DVD player and beside one of many book cases. Nothing was out of place. But it was dark in here so I couldn't be positive.
I turn and stumble the three or four steps over to my lamp and get distracted. There's a scarf hanging off my lamp. It's purple and black with strings of silver thread in it. My mom got it for me when she was in Italy last year because purple and black are my favorite colors. Especially together. And this is where the distraction gets bad. Instead of switching on the light so I can see the things I want to look at I just start trying to get the scarf off of the lamp. But I forgot how I put it on there in the first place.
In my confusion I took a misstep. And the misstep was followed by a slow fall towards my window. That sounds particularly horrible, doesn't it? I go down. It was a slow fall. Or, to me it seemed like a slow fall. It wasn't graceful in the slightest. There was flailing as I tried to regain balance. It was noisy as I hit things, trying to stay upright. And then I hit the ground.
Only I didn't really hit the ground. I hit a giant stack of Anime DVDs I had by the window. My lamp, on the other hand, went through the window.
I should have mentioned before now that the lamp in question is, in fact, a floor lamp. Quite tall. Difficult to break. But, it seemed the light had gone through the window. I sat there, stunned for a moment that I didn't get cut up by the window, as I had hit it, too, and that no one had woken up and come to see what happened. I'm positive I was quite loud.
Hesitantly, pulled the lamp out of the window and set it aside. I would worry about it later. My binds, on the other hand, they got my focus for the moment. They looked horrible. Some of the end pieces completely broke off. Others are still connected, but they're just barely hanging on. All in all, my blinds are ruined. Once I had that settled, I moved on to my window. I pulled up the blinds and found a bit of luck. I've been sleeping with my window wide open for the last couple weeks. And tonight that wasn't changing.
But I still had the problem of it being dark in here. The only light I had for all of this was the flickering light of my TV. So after wobbling up to my feet I turned my attention to my lamp. As I reached out to flip it on I noticed something. The shade was missing. The shade on a floor lamp is kinda hard to get off just by bumping it. It takes actual work to get it off. But, there it was.
Keep in mind that during all of this I'm not only in the dark, but I'm also on Ambien. Yeah.
After some investigating, I found my shade on the other side of the room. That was odd. I went to put it back together but the inside part of my lamp was turned weird. It took me a minute to figure out how it went but I ended up getting it right and getting the lamp shade hooked back on.
The next problem was that the bulb was missing. Not a good thing. So I head downstairs to get one. Along the way I decide I should get a baggie to put it in because there's a chance I'll drop the light bulb with how loopy I was. I ended up talking to the painting at the bottom of the stairs after all. So I stop in the kitchen and get a baggie from the pantry. While I'm in there I decide I should also put a couple of Ambien in the baggie so that I don't have to go downstairs every time I want one. Then I go out to the garage and get a 60 watt bulb, same strength I always get. And I decide it would be good to get a Coke, too. So I head back up to my room with the bulb and some pills in the baggie, and the Coke in my other hand. I wobbled throughout the entire mission. And I talked to the stairs in the garage. It seemed like they were moving and I told them they had to cut it out. I was trying to go back inside. Then I would leave them alone for the remainder of the night.
I got back up to my room, but I don't remember the trip back at all. I have a feeling that would be for the best. New bulb in hand, I went to the lamp once more. It wouldn't screw in. I couldn't understand this. I put my finger in the ring part where the bulb SHOULD screw in, not all the way down to where I'd get zapped or anything, and there were no grooves there or anything. Nothing. It looked like there was another mission ahead of me. I had a feeling The Missing Bulb would hold the answers.
I searched around and found the bulb beside my bed. This lamp just went everywhere when it fell apart, I swear. I got the bulb. I sat for a minute and took a sip of my Coke. And because I can be a complete moron sometimes, I took another Ambien. So now I'm on two of them.
The part you screw the light bulb into had come out with the bulb. I fiddled with it for a few minutes. Then I took that bit off of the other bulb and put it on the new one. I fiddled with it for a minute, too. I got the light to come on. I stood the lamp back up. The lamp went out.
Now I'm just confused. I gave up on it.
By the way, this whole ordeal started at about 2:00am. It's now 3:38am. Over an hour and a half.
And that's why you don't try to do handy, or decorative, things when you're on Ambien.
